Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Reflections pt.1

Reflections better known as A Rant Full of Things I Should Have Said
Dear You-
    I was sitting in my room today, going over the vestiges of our summer together; at least the part of it that was until you left. I'm still not sure why you did that, or if you care that you broke my heart in the process. You probably never even knew that I would have been your girlfriend, had you only asked. Maybe it's my own fault, I knew that you weren't the commitment type from the start, and I've long suspected that our feelings for each other don't line up; yet as I sift through photos, drift in and out of memories, hold in my hand my paint-stained band teeshirt, and run my fingers over the tiny scar on my elbow -a battle wound from falling on a concrete floor- I can't help but think that, for a few magical weeks of our summer, maybe you were mine. 
    Now our lives have lead us separate ways and I'm quite sure that you'll never love me. Despite my best efforts to hold on you, I find you pulling farther and farther away. I don't know if we are still best friends, like we were for those months at the end of my Senior year. I don't know if we will ever be that close again. All I have left to cling to are a few photos, a paint-spattered teeshirt, and the memories of my best friend.
    So, should you ever need me, or even just want me, I'll be here. I'll be waiting with a best-friend sized hole in my heart and a scar on my elbow.
All my love, Me.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Exhaustion and Aggravation

     I apologize that is has been so long since I last posted. For those of you who are following my photo-a-day project, I also apologize that the last couple of weeks have been pretty devoid of photos. I got back from Fall Break and got slam-packed with papers, work stuff, club commitments, other class necessities, friend issues, moral dilemmas, and a whole lot more that compiles itself into a heap of crap way beyond my maturity level.
     On the upside, Blackburn's Halloween was excellent. I had a great time at the dance with Ty and Bryan. I dressed up as a Zombie School Girl type dealy, and coerced Bryan into going as a Zombie as well. After the dance, a group of us all trouped to Litchfield to go to Denny's where I got an entire meal for less than $5 due to an amazing waitress who probably saw "broke, starving college student" written all over me. After this, Ty, Myself, and Bryan decided to watch "Get Him to the Greek" which is stupid. Typical Russell Brandt. I do not recommend it. At all. 
     Past that, I've had a comparably good day. I got a pretty good performance review for my on-campus job, and I earned a perfect score on my most recent Literature paper. Also, my latest project for my Basic Drawing class is going in a good direction. I've got some excellent ideas and I'm happy about where I see it going from here. It's funny how in high school, everything was about where you were; whereas college makes you think more in terms of where you're going.
     Well, I think that's all I've got in me for now. Gotta get up early to make up a lab that I slept through because I woke up on Tuesday, thought it was Sunday, and went back to sleep. Goodnight, world. <3 Larra