Reflections pt.1

Reflections better known as A Rant Full of Things I Should Have Said

Dear You-

    I was sitting in my room today, going over the vestiges of our summer together; at least the part of it that was until you left. I'm still not sure why you did that, or if you care that you broke my heart in the process. You probably never even knew that I would have been your girlfriend, had you only asked. Maybe it's my own fault, I knew that you weren't the commitment type from the start, and I've long suspected that our feelings for each other don't line up; yet as I sift through photos, drift in and out of memories, hold in my hand my paint-stained band teeshirt, and run my fingers over the tiny scar on my elbow -a battle wound from falling on a concrete floor- I can't help but think that, for a few magical weeks of our summer, maybe you were mine. 

    Now our lives have lead us separate ways and I'm quite sure that you'll never love me. Despite my best efforts to hold on you, I find you pulling farther and farther away. I don't know if we are still best friends, like we were for those months at the end of my Senior year. I don't know if we will ever be that close again. All I have left to cling to are a few photos, a paint-spattered teeshirt, and the memories of my best friend.

    So, should you ever need me, or even just want me, I'll be here. I'll be waiting with a best-friend sized hole in my heart and a scar on my elbow.

All my love, Me.