Only one week in and I'm already feeling smothered. Don't get me wrong, I love Blackburn. The people are great and the campus is beautiful, but sometimes it feels too small. Like everyone knows everyone else, and it's hard to make friends with very many people. You would think the size would make it easier, but it's like when I got here everyone already had friends. I'm struggling with missing my friends from back home and the normality that I had managed to achieve, the routine monotony of Hoopeston, and knowing what to expect every day.
Again, I like Blackburn, but I'm still having trouble adjusting. The novelty of college is starting to wear off, and the reality of "This is what I picked for my life, and this is where I'm stuck for the next 9 months." Plus, my current lack of mobility makes me feel claustrophobic. I mean, anyone who knows me knows how much I hate being stuck in one place. My world used to be so big: Hoopeston, Paxton, Rankin, Champaign, Urbana, Savoy, Arcola, Tolono, Gibson City, Roberts, Danville. I never really realized how big my world was until it was suddenly restricted to a campus that I can walk across in 7 minutes or less.
Anyway, I'm trying to keep as busy as I can: I'm joining clubs and going to all my classes and going to work and just doing the best that I can not to let this escalate into depression. Maybe I had this unrealistic, idyllic vision of what college would be like. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough or being friendly enough, and maybe I just need to be patient and realize that I've only been here for 6 days. Either way, I'm just trying to take a deep breath and figure it out as I go along.